Two weeks ago as I studied about hope this scripture from Proverbs 3:5-6 kept coming up. Due to its reoccurrence in my study I decided to make it the point of my pondering this week.
Proverbs 3:5-6 reads:
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
I did not know then what this past week would hold for me, but I soon found out.
Grad School
In January I applied to a grad program at BYU, and in March I found out that I did not get in, even though I had a 64% chance of acceptance. I thought I was suppose to be in Utah and I really wanted to be in Utah, so I was left baffled and dumbfounded.
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| The view from campus, looking out to Mission Bay |
The day I found out that I didn't get into BYU I looked into the University of San Diego to find out when their deadlines were. I applied and eventually found out that I got accepted. People told me how lucky I am to be able to live in paradise but the reality of it was anything but paradise.
Behind it all I had no desire to move to San Diego, or even live in California. California is expensive and I didn't know anyone in San Diego.
Before leaving for Wisconsin I had enough money to make it to my families place in the San Joaquin valley and then to San Diego. I didn't have money for food, housing, or transportation, and I still didn't have housing in San Diego. In my mind I came up with the worst case scenario which was I would be homeless sleeping in my car until someone felt pity for me.
A week before I was suppose to go down to San Diego I still didn't have housing set up and no money to pay for anything. I was still looking for a job but had a possible position lined up. The Friday I was leaving I booked a hotel room for three nights. I had gotten into contact with a girl about possibly getting a place but things were not set in stone.
I remember thinking how stupid I was to do something like this because it seemed foolish. Who in their right mind would pack up and move to a city they didn't know anyone, have a place to live, or even have a job lined up. The only thing going for me was I was going to grad school.
Why would I do such a thing?
I had a trust in the Lord. I felt and knew that if this was where I needed to be then I needed to be there. And if that is true then God would provide a way.
This past week this scripture to trust in the Lord was more of an applicational pondering than a meditative pondering. I had to show forth my trust in ways that were difficult and uncomfortable. I felt scared, nervous, and afraid. But it was that faith and knowledge that I had in the Lord that allowed me to take that leap of faith, to trust Him and go to San Diego.
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| Nephi obtaining the plates of brass. |
While going through the trial I was blessed with moments reminding me of individuals in the scripture who exemplified trust in the Lord.
Those who showed trust in the Lord:
- Nephi in obtaining the plates-1 Nephi 3-4
- Peter as he got out of the boat and started to walk on water-Matthew 14:28-29
- Moses leading the children of Israel-Exodus 14
"To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov. 3:5-7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience." -Elder Richard G. Scott "Trust in Lord" GC Oct. 1995
We find countless examples in the scriptures of individuals trusting God. God does provides a way, even when it seems impossible and hopeless. There is always a way with the Lord.
