No Headlights
On my trip out to California I noticed that my car was
giving off a distinct smell as I came into Vegas. In my mind I envisioned
burning wires, but I would soon found out that it was burning plastic. My first
thought was the A/C unit since the fan motor would occasionally make a funny
sound. Turning it off and rolling the windows down did nothing to help the
smell.
Continuing down the road I noticed that the high beam light
was on within my dashboard. Finding it weird I tried to turn the light for my
high beams off but nothing worked. Within a couple of minutes I no longer had
headlights traveling down I-15 at 9pm.
With the help of my dad, I was able to rig a connection
between the live wire and the headlights. The headlights came on and I was set to make
the final five hours to my destination. But the headlights only lasted 5
minutes before the connection no longer worked due to the continued malfunction of the
fog lights.
Stuck in Vegas with no working headlights to make the final
five hours I found myself nervous and vulnerable. When I first pulled into the parking lot a guy
kept coming up to me and trying to talk, then another guy. As I was traveling I
was carrying cash so I felt more vulnerable and a target. On top of everything I was feeling I knew I wasn’t in the best part of town. I was only a few
blocks from one of the worst parts of Vegas and I knew I couldn’t stay in that
area for too long.
Bitterness
Frustrated and extremely tired, from getting three hours of
sleep in my car the night before, I was losing my patience quick. I wanted to
figure out what was wrong with the car and fix it, but these two guys kept
interrupting me. I kept telling them I was fine and I could handle it because
honestly I could handle it. When it comes to cars I’m pretty resourceful and
can fix just about anything, since I grew up helping my dad fix cars. So I
didn’t need help, I needed space and quietness to work.
Eventually, I found a hotel close by to stay the night. But even before getting my room I had problems finding the hotel registration desk. I asked a security guard but got confused once I started
heading in the direction he told me. Asking for help a second time, I made an
attempt to venture in the way I was told. Even then I ended up confused by the
directions I was given and overwhelmed with everything. Things did work out and I was able to find the desk and get a room.
Throughout this whole ordeal I was reminded of a scripture
talking about how God will consecrate our afflictions for our gain. I found
myself feeling a little bitter about the entire situation though. I wondered, “How
in the world is He going to make this affliction for my gain? What good is
going to come of this?“ I was tired, exhausted, I had a massive headache since
earlier that afternoon, I didn’t smell good, and I was sick of the car. I just wanted
to be at my destination already. I was over it, and wanted the day to end.
Gratitude
Even though I was getting bitter there were small moments of
gratitude that I was blessed to recognize.
- As my headlights quit working I thought, “Well if this is the worst that will happen with my car then I am grateful for it because it could be a lot worse than what it is.”
- A text from a friend came an hour or two before helping me to remember to laugh, make light of your day and enjoy the journey.
- I was grateful to have been in Vegas with car problems instead of another city. I lived in Vegas a few years ago so I knew the area well enough (the not so good areas, where certain things were, etc). If I was in any other city I would have felt more uncomfortable and not as confident in what to do or where to go.
- I was able to get a cheap hotel room that had enough room to store my bike for the night.
- My car was still drivable during the day, just not at night.
- The guys that kept coming up to me had good intentions and asked if I needed help. At least they were willing to ask to see if I needed help and if I was okay.
- Making it to the hotel without any more problems (using my high beams as headlights and taking two main roads to get to the hotel quickly).
- Saying a prayer with my parents over the phone to help calm my nerves.
The Lesson
That night I knelt down beside my hotel bed and talked to
Heavenly Father. I told Him my thoughts and feelings, telling Him I don’t
understand why this was happening and what good was suppose to come of it but I
knew He had a plan and I trusted Him and accepted His will. Also, I made sure
to share all those things that I was grateful for because I know that hope lies
within the little moments of light, they help us press forward when we feel
like we cannot.
In the morning I woke and read a talk given by President Lee
from the October 1972 General Conference session. Within the talk I read these
words:
“That when an individual is ordained and appointed to lead the people, he has passed through tribulations and trials, and has proven himself before God, and before His people, that he is worthy of the situation which he holds.”
The phrase lead people and being a leader kept coming to my
mind as I laid in bed the night before. This quote impressed upon my mind and
heart that what I was going through was to help me. I was to prove myself
before God through these tests and trials so that
I may stand worthy for the appointments and callings that will one day come.
God knows what He wants us to be. To get us from where we are to where He needs us to be takes a lot of stretching and pulling, which entails discomfort and pain. There is great truth and comfort in remembering that with every great trial comes great blessings. Blessings can be found all around us, we can be grateful even when things aren't going the way we hoped they would. Will we strive to try a little more to be a little better at looking for the good and being grateful for those small things in our life? We will be blessed so much more in our efforts to be grateful.
